Hagiology
This �Word� has film connections. It is American in origin, from the USA, (which is in America), and was part of the �Audition Procedure� in the Studio of Awful Spelling Productions, about 6 years� ago. It was declared unconstitutional at the English Speaking Union, under the President, Donald Duck.
Because of the clarity of his speech, Donald Duck was elected President of the ESU in 1936, when he was a Duckling, (and Bush was only a Shrub). He has been unopposed for decades! (I can�t tell you how many years exactly, because I�m quite good at English, but I�m hopeless at Maths!)
But it was such a long time ago that one of the Delegates remarked: �A lot of water has been passed since then!�
Many American speak excellent, logical English: but fortunately, the majority do! For this reason, the Debate had discussed the following American words and phrases:
�Ahmgonnago!� (�I am going to go!�)
�Wancha?� (�Why don�t you?)
and �Thassa,10,4!� (I cannot find this in the dictionary, so it may be of Mexican origin!)
Incidentally, �What did the Mexican shout when he lifted up the carpet?�
�Underlay! Underlay!�
The Debate was introduced by Donald Duck�s three nephews, and the Motion to ban the word Hagiology was proposed by his nephew, Huey: seconded by Dewey, (who later became Senator Dewey). To avoid Double Jeopardy, the Motion was thirded by Louie.
After much ducking and diving by the Delegates, the Bill was floated unanimously, with a show of feet, (with no abs tensions), followed by a ripple of applause.
You will know that all prospective stars must undergo a rigorous Screen Test. Female stars absolutely must be able to scream, (for 15 minutes non-stop), and shout 100 times, (without a script): �Oh, m-ah-ee G-ah-d!�
�As the church bell tolled midnight, Our Heroine crept into the deserted cemetery, in a howling gale, wearing a see-through nightdress, and carrying only a lighted candle for protection. In the cemetery was the Mad Massachusetts Monster, carrying a set of Butcher�s Knives, and �that look� in his eye. Fortunately, Our Hero arrived and saw the Monster. He told the Detective and the Detective tolled the bell. Within seconds, 47 Police Cars arrived, and the crime was solved, with the minimum of effort.�
The Audition for male-stars is even more difficult! They must speak in English and answer the question: �Why do you want to become a film star?� (�a movie-star?�), in not less than 10 words.
Sadly, for many actors, the strain of this oration was so great that they became tongue-tied and were unable to give a coherent answer. The most-usual reply was something similar to: �Ha! ... Gee! ... I ... Oh Hell! ... Oh Gee! ... WHY?�
Because of the combination of letters in this outburst, �HA ... G ... I ... O L ... O G ... Y�, this answer eventually became known as the �hagiology� answer, and that was the reason that it was banned from the cinema industry.
Les
