TRAGEMATOPOLIST
�Gloriawpai� is very close, with her definition of a resident of a faraway land.
There is, indeed, a unique, remote, self-governing, African island which has connections with the �Tragematopolists�.
It is unique for 3 unique reasons.
1) The first reason that this African island is unique is because it has a population of only 3 people.
Number One Person is the President, who is Supreme Tribal Chief, First Lord of the Admiralty, and Chancellor of the Exchequer. He performs all the ceremonial duties.
Number Two Person is his wife, who is Lord High Everything Else. She does all the work.
This is a democracy. Consequently, Number Three Person is a Social Worker. He calls every day to ensure that the President lives in the style to which he is accustomed: meals properly prepared; house cleaned immaculately; and the children well-educated. (I realise that there aren�t any children, but there might be!)
2) The second reason that this African island is unique is because it is an island entirely surrounded by land.
The wife of the President, in her capacity as Minister for Tourism, very wisely describes the area as: �This precious stone set in the silver sea�, rather than giving it a more banal, unwelcoming, factual description.
3) The final reason that this African island is unique is because it is located in South America.
The wife of the President, who is Minister for Defence, successfully argued that to describe the island as being in Africa, (when it was actually in South America), was a perfect disguise from enemy nations.
Last year, the President�s wife, whose portfolio includes Minister for Culture, was appointed by the United Nations to keep a list of all �Tragematopolists�.
I will explain. The Theatre, Radio, Films and Television have many different acts --- actors, singers, dancers, etc. It also has �Spesh Acts�, �Specialty Acts� --- ventriloquists, impersonators, trapeze artists, etc. It is obvious that a �Spesh Act� leads a very precarious life, and is often unemployed.
For example, it is unlikely that an ice-skater would be engaged for the film, �Sands of the Desert�; or a Belly Dancer for an episode of BBC TV News; or a Mime Artist for a Radio Programme!
Many �Spesh Acts� fail: the person lives a life of poverty!
A Contortionist in financial debt and cannot make both ends meet.
A Coin-Swallower critically ill in hospital --- �No change�, says Doctor.
A Tap-Dancer injured when he falls into the Sink.
A Spirit-Writer unable to find her Invisible Ink.
A Stilt-Walker unemployed, due to Dutch Elm Disease.
The Human Dustbin eats Sanding Machine: expected to scrape through.
A Lion-Tamer bitten by the Lion: Lion recovers.
A Bird-Impersonator injures himself, when he falls from a chandelier.
These are descriptions of Tragematopolists = failed Specialty Acts.
Les (Sob! Sob!)
