There is a terrible and dangerous new craze (mania) amongst young rhinoceroses (rhinos) that rhino mothers are claiming is causing blindness, bad temper and the urge to bang your head into solid objects. They suspect that the craze was caused innocently by a young zookeeper that was a "clean freak" and could not tolerate seeing or being anywhere within a mile of any form of mold or mildew. It seems the rhino nursery had a few corners where some form of mold had begun to develop. When the young zookeeper glanced his nemesis he quickly, without first surveying the scene for safety, whipped his trusty bottle of Tilex mold and mildew remover out of his Tilex belt holster and began to spray the area of contamination.
After 5 minutes of fumigating and emptying all 12 loads of Tilex from his ammo belt into the small room he paused to evaluate the fruit of his efforts. To his surprise an entire crowd of teen rhinos that had been secretly playing an illegal game of "Horn Holdem" in the unoccupied nursery stood looking at him with dazed expressions and then began to gyrate and move in such a disturbing manner that the youngster threw down his holster and ammo belt and ran for the hills--never to be seen again.
The zoo leadership, in an effort to return the affected young rhinos to their normal state decided, as a last-ditch effort, to rerelease a portion of the youngsters into the wild. Unknown to the human handlers, this group had been hoarding Tilex and had secretly hidden it away in their thick armor. Upon arrival in the wild they began an effective campaign of first giving potential customers a "sniff" of Tilex and then selling it to them for ridiculous amounts. The campaign has caused an epidemic that has spread across the wild and in zoos worldwide.
Add campaigns trying to educate young rhinos on the dangers of Tilex have had little affect. One young rhino´s response to the ad was: "I´m a rhino. I´ll go blind, get mad, and bang things no matter what I do--it´s in my genes. Tilex makes me feel good and the way the young rhino girls swing their armor when they are on it excites me--there is no way I ´m stopping."
Experts have given up on finding a cure for this Rhinotillexomania. Their latest advice is to tune-in, drop-out, and go with the flow because "those kids really DO have some pretty cool moves going on on the dance floor." Scientists are now estimaing the rhino population to more than double in the next two decades.
