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Ask for help > Asking for feedback
Asking for feedback
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kiscsepo
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Asking for feedback
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Dear Friends and Colleagues,
Yesterday I wrote a film review about the movie, The
Hangover. Sadly, I have to admit that I don’t really have any experience in
writing this kind of genre at higher level (what a shame, right? L ) so I did some research work. Eventually, I managed
to finalise it and I decided to publish it on the website as it may help others
to construct their own piece of work. (I don’t know...)
Well, what I would like to kindly ask is to write me
some constructive criticism concerning my work. Actually, as I am a non-native speaker,
I would like to develop my skills but without getting any (positive or
negative) feedback it is difficult to do. So I would not mind if you gave me an
honest opinion (even if it is negative) about my work. I know that many of you
are masters in the English language and you may be the persons who I can turn
to. (What I am curious about is: whether the review is acceptable either from
vocabulary or grammar point of view at C1 level, whether the content is fine,
what improvements I could make, etc. Any kind of remarks would be welcomed.)
P. S. If you don’t want to download the WS because you
don’t need it, you can check it from the preview. Thanks a million for your
help, remarks, and suggestions. And in general, let me say thank to all of you,
I am grateful for being in this supportive community. Have a nice day,
everybody!
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21 Jun 2018
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cunliffe
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Hi kiscsepo, first of all, I don �t know what �s required for C1, so I can �t comment on that. I would say the level of your piece is upper intermediate/advanced. I liked the layout very much. I usually have the subtitles of: title, main characters, plot, opinion. I prefer yours. The vocabulary you use is varied, the grammar constructions quite complex - very well modelled, and the style upbeat. If your students can produce a similar effort based on your model, well done! One or two things might be slightly differently phrased, but it �s a matter of choice; there is nothing �wrong�. It �s a great review and thank you for sharing. I can �t really suggest any improvements. I might go and see that film...  |
21 Jun 2018
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kiscsepo
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Thank you very much for your nice comment, I appreciate it. :) |
21 Jun 2018
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aperkins4
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There are only a few minor mistakes in terms of word choice and punctuaction. The content is fantastic!
"The actors starring in the film prove to be brilliant, they act in a totally natural and credible way."
The comma here should actually be a semicolon. , --> ;
"They portray the facetious characters of bachelors." This is grammatically correct, but sounds awkward to native speakers. I suggest saying, "The characters they portray are facetious bachelors."
"As far as the plot of the film is concerned, it
is entirely unique, easy-to-follow, and amusing
in lieu of the fact that at first sight, what the title of the film promises is
precisely zero."
An extra comma is needed after the word "that" --> "in lieu of the fact that, at first sight," As for the word choice, it may sound better to say "is precisely nothing" instead of "zero" or "at first sight, the title of the film promises precisely zero clues to the plot." Finally, there needs to be a semicolon (;) insetad of a comma (,) after the word "predictable" since "however" starts the second half of a compound sentence. "It seems to be true that ending is relatively predictable; however, a slight twist appears in one of the
characters’ life as the plot unfolds." Overall, this is an excellent idea and a great example for the students to follow! Your description is fantastic, and you bring a lot of color and life to your writing. Very well done! |
21 Jun 2018
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Antonio Oliver
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Hi kiscsepo, you can download a 30-page "writing assessment" checklist, with sample texts, from the Cambridge English webpage: http://www.cambridgeenglish.org/images/cambridge-english-assessing-writing-performance-at-level-c1.pdf
It gives you clues on how to grade a piece of writing by looking at 4 key aspects: >Content. This focuses on how well the candidate has fulfilled the task, in other words, if they have done what they were asked to do. In your case, it has to do with the original question / request and whether you answered it or wandered off track >Communicative Achievement. This focuses on how appropriate the writing is for the task, and whether the candidate has used the appropriate register. >Organisation. This focuses on the way the candidate puts together the piece of writing, in other words, if it is logical and ordered. >Language. This focuses on vocabulary and grammar. It includes the range of language as well as how accurate it is.
Each section is graded 0-5 points, and in theory if the average mark of all 4 sections is 70% of maximum mark (ie 19 out of 25 points) you pass Both teachers and students tend to worry only about the last point: correct gramar & vocabulary but the other 3 are equally important. Hope that helped,
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21 Jun 2018
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kiscsepo
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Dear Cunliffe, Aperkins4 and Antonio Oliver, Thank you very much for all the meaningful and informative support you gave me. Your comments are very encouraging and prove to be very helpful for me. I wish all of you a nice day! :) |
21 Jun 2018
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aperkins4
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Kisceop, � I am glad it helped!�I hope you also have a great day and that the lesson with your students is successful!
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22 Jun 2018
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SMAgnes
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www.euroexam.hu: you can find useful tips there |
22 Jun 2018
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kiscsepo
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Thanks a lot, SMAgnes. :) |
23 Jun 2018
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