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Message board > Hi!!! I want to share this with all of you!
Hi!!! I want to share this with all of you!
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cecio_13
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Hi!!! I want to share this with all of you!
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We �ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese..
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
Then shouldn �t the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn �t the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!
Let �s face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
Neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren �t invented in England.
We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,
We find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don �t
fing, Grocers don �t groce and hammers don �t ham?
Doesn �t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not
one amend.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends
And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn �t preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English
Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what other language do people recite at a play and play
at a recital?
We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
While a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
In which your house can burn up as it burns
Down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out,
And in which an alarm goes off by going on.
And, in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother �s not Mop?
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2 Jul 2009
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Caroline565
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Hi cecio 13. That �s so funny and good too. I love it. But one question to which I have never found an answer still remains...ie... What IS the plural of MOOSE? hehehehe!
Caroline Hugs. |
2 Jul 2009
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manonski (f)
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The plural of moose is moose and there are a lot of moose where I come from. |
2 Jul 2009
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eng789
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Nice. So why don �t our pupils get it??? :)) |
3 Jul 2009
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zailda
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We teach this text at the advanced level where I work. I even adapted it for my last speech at the graduation party. It was very funny, there were some English speakers who didn �t know it and they started laughing at the middle of my speech, so I had to interrupt it for a few seconds. At the end, of course, I told them it was adapted - but my ss had already noticed it. They love this text and it is one of those they learn faster because they think it �s very funny. Funny but still true.
English is a crazy language! Maybe that �s why I love English - we have something in common. LOL
Zailda Coirano
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3 Jul 2009
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Caroline565
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Thanks manonski...always wondered lol .Caroline� |
3 Jul 2009
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Ivi....
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lol...very interesting and funny ..thanks for sharing!! |
3 Jul 2009
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roneydirt
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english muffins weren �t invented in England... oh my and then it �s true fortune cookies were created in America too... American Eats gots some funny puns like this on food on the History Channel. forgot the link sorry. |
3 Jul 2009
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maiagarri
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hahaha. i remember this poem which we performed in a speech choir back when i was in high school more than 10 years ago. been looking for a copy. thanks.
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3 Jul 2009
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