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		ESL forum >
		
		
		Message board > PMs     
			
		 PMs 
		
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 blunderbuster
 
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							| PMs 
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							| Hi, 
 I have noticed that, more and more, people seem to share information via pm and not via the forum anymore. I was wondering why that might be. I mean, people write that they have sent a pm, but the people that receive the pm know anyway, because the pms open automatically upon refreshing or browsing the site.
 
 Is this a new trend, am I missing something? Please enlighten me.
 
 Regards
 
 |  10 Sep 2010      
					
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 franknbea
 
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							| I �ll send you a PM     I �m sure it �s just a case of temporary "he said, she said" syndrome |  10 Sep 2010     
					
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 joy2bill
 
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							| I find it frustrating also as sometimes I have the same problem as outlined in the forum and I can �t get to the answer. Cheers Joy |  10 Sep 2010     
					
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 PhilipR
 
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							| I think there is nothing more annoying, redundant and selfish than to put a message "Sent you a PM" or "Check your PM" on the forum. 
 Like you say, if you send a PM, the person whom you sent it to will know as soon as they refresh the page or navigate the site.  It�s like phoning or texting someone to announce you�ve sent them a fax or email, but done in public.  
 This kind of messages should simply be banned.  
 The only exception I would allow is when you�d like to insult someone. Putting "You�re an idiot" on the forum is in bad taste. You could always send a PM and draw extra attention to it by sharing this on the board. But then you should at least indicate what you said like "I sent you a PM to tell you what an &$#@^%^ you are!"   |  10 Sep 2010     
					
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 anitarobi
 
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							| I have to apologise - I sometimes write those replies, but I never thought it would seem selfish or insulting. I just saw others do that, and thought it is the proper way to let people know this person has been helped, at least from my side. But I will tell you when I do that - when I �m sending links which are rather long and would distort the forum (and we know this has happened), or when I am answering a post question which is very commonly asked and I have lots of stuff noted down on it (and I do tend to write long posts, as you may have noticed), so I just think it would take up lots of space, or when sb asks for sth that needs to be e-mailed. I never do it for malicious purposes, because - frankly, I have better things to do than be malicious or sneaky. Sometimes, people even send me pms asking to share that with them as well, and I do. I �m really not trying to attack somebody or insult - that �s not what we �re here for. But perhaps you �re right - I will definitely reconsider next time... |  10 Sep 2010     
					
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 libertybelle
 
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							| I can think of another reason why someone might do this. 
 If someone is in need of a ws pertaining to special topic - it �s almost criminal here to reply that one has just the ws needed because that would mean self-advertising !!
 
 People here scream and yell if you link to one of your own wss, even
 if that is the answer to the problem.
 
 It seems  it �s only allowed to link to outside pages on the net.
 
 Therefore people send links to their stuff pr. PM and write so on the board, so others will know that help is on the way.
 
 |  10 Sep 2010     
					
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 anitarobi
 
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							| Thank you, Libertybelle, that �s certainly true. That �s another reason. |  10 Sep 2010     
					
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 blunderbuster
 
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							| You can refer to your work if it is related to the topic ;o) |  10 Sep 2010     
					
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 PhilipR
 
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							| I just sent a PM To say I love youuuuuu  
 (I haven �t even touched alcohol I swear)   |  10 Sep 2010     
					
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 Bruna Dutra
 
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							| Philip... you �ll be getting a pm in about 5 seconds... press F5. 
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 blunderbuster
 
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							| Geez, you guys should really keep that private.  All this semi-exclusive public hugging and kissing .... 
 But let�s not make a mockery of this thread, okay. I like how people are trying to look at things from the other person�s perspective.
 
 |  10 Sep 2010     
					
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