TEACHER:    Maria, go to the map and find North America.

MARIA:         Here it is.

TEACHER:    Correct.  Now class, who discovered America?

CLASS:            Maria.

TEACHER:    John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN:           You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER:   Glenn, how do you spell �crocodile? �

GLENN:       K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L �

TEACHER:   No, that �s wrong

GLENN:       Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.   

TEACHER:    Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD:      H I J K L M N O

TEACHER:    What are you talking about?

DONALD:      Yesterday you said it �s H to O.  

TEACHER:    Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn �t have ten years ago.

WINNIE:        Me!  

TEACHER:    Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN:           Well, I�m a lot closer to the ground than you are.    

TEACHER:      Millie, give me a sentence starting with �I...  �

MILLIE:           I   is..

TEACHER:      No, Millie..... Always say, �I   am. �

MILLIE:           All right...   �I am the ninth letter of the alphabet. �    

TEACHER:      George Washington not only chopped down his father �s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn �t punish  him?

LOUIS:            Because George still had the axe in his hand....        

TEACHER:     Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say  prayers before eating?

SIMON:          No sir, I don�t have to, my Mum is a good cook.    

TEACHER:      Clyde, your composition on �My Dog � is exactly the same as your brother �s.. Did you copy his?

CLYDE   :        No, sir.. It�s the same dog.    

TEACHER:     Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD:       A  teacher