TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday
STUDENT: Seven
TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday
STUDENT: Nine
TEACHER: That �s impossible
STUDENT: No, it isn �t, Teacher. I �m eight today
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TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America
CLASS: George
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TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn �t
have ten years ago
WILLY: Me
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TEACHER: Are you chewing gum
BILLY: No, I �m Billy Anderson
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TEACHER: Didn �t you promise to behave
STUDENT: Yes, Sir
TEACHER: And didn �t I promise to punish you if you didn �t
STUDENT: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don �t expect you to
keep yours.
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TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty
TOMMY: Well, I �m a lot closer to the ground then you are.
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HAROLD:Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn �t do
TEACHER: Of course not.
HAROLD: Good, because I didn �t do my homework.
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TEACHER: Why are you late
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
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TEACHER: I hope I didn �t see you looking at Don �s paper.
JOHN: I hope you didn �t either.
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GARY: I don �t think I deserve a zero on this test.
TEACHER: I agree, but it �s the lowest mark I can give you.