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ESL forum >
Teaching material > FUNNY TEXTS
FUNNY TEXTS
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anitarobi
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FUNNY TEXTS
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Just felt like sharing this for the sake of those who love using humour in lessons...
Btw, there is lots of other stuff, too... I hope you find sth you like!
Anita |
27 Aug 2010
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almaz
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The first gag reminded me of an old Scottish joke:
Two men walking through a cemetery. They stop at an old headstone that says "Here lyes a Lawyer and an Honest Man." The first man says to the other, "Ach, who �d ever think there wis enough room for two bodies in that wee grave?" |
27 Aug 2010
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franknbea
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Thanks Anita, another one for the favourites column. |
27 Aug 2010
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Lina Ladybird
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@Almaz
Every time I read that wee word "wee", it reminds me of a poem by the Scottish poet Robert Burns that my Scottish ex-fianc� taught me about 20 years ago:
Wee, sleekit, cow �rin, tim �rous beastie,
O, what a panic �s in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty
Wi bickering brattle!
I wad be laith to rin an � chase thee,
Wi � murdering pattle.
This is only the first part and it took me ages to pronounce all the verses correctly. I remember that George had a really good laugh!!
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27 Aug 2010
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almaz
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Silke,
One of my favourite poets and poems. I �m sure lots of English teachers will be familiar with part of one of the later verses:
But, Mousie, thou art no thy lane,
In proving foresight may be vain;
The best-laid schemes o � mice an � men Gang aft agley, An � lea �e us nought but grief an � pain,
For promis �d joy!
One of my favourite authors, Steinbeck, was a Burns fan too.
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27 Aug 2010
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lshorton99
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I love that poem! I lived in a house with a mouse problem so I once tried reciting it to see if they would be quiet at night in return for us only putting humane traps down. I was 9 at the time so it made perfect sense for me to try reasoning with a mouse! Plus I loved reciting the famous �best laid plans � couplet every time we caught a mouse! (we set them free in a wood about a mile away but I suspect the same ones kept coming back to hear me recite poetry. One in particular grew quite fond of Shakespeare, as I recall...)
Lindsey
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27 Aug 2010
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anitarobi
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OK, now you got me going...
SILLY WEE WEE SONG
When I was a wee wee tot they took me off my wee wee cot and put me on my wee wee pot to see if I would wee or not
Chorus: Wee wee Wee wee Wee wee wee wee wee wee Wee wee wee wee wee Wee wee wee wee Wee wee wee wee wee
And when they saw that I would not they took me off my wee wee pot and put me on my wee wee cot and then I gave it all I got!
@Silke, just imagine Gerard Butler pronouncing it and things will go smoother... (ups, perhaps we better take this conversation to the cafe, but it is the weekend... let �s have a casual Saturday...)
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28 Aug 2010
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