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ESL forum > Ask for help > help: rewriting a paragraph    

help: rewriting a paragraph



gloriawpai
Brazil

help: rewriting a paragraph
 
How should I correct this paragraph?

Governments are trying to ban smoking from public closed places. This can be justified by several reasons, all supported on health arguments. There is also a concern with the preventive medicine, which simply avoids negative habits that will eventually harm the patient �s health. Fact never before observed, since medicine was a science only used to heal illnesses, not to prevent them.


Thanks!!


16 Nov 2011      





Jayho
Australia

Here are my midnight thoughts Gloria
 

Governments are trying to ban smoking from in enclosed public closed places. This can be justified by several reasons, all supported on by/with health arguments. There is also a concern with [or �in relation to �] the preventive medicine, which simply avoids negative habits that will eventually harm the a patient�s health. This is a fact never before observed, since medicine was [considered] a science only used to heal illnesses, not to prevent them.

Cheers

Jayho

16 Nov 2011     



gloriawpai
Brazil

Thanks a zillion, dear Jayho. 

16 Nov 2011