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ESL forum > Grammar and Linguistics > What ´s wrong in the sentence?    

What ´s wrong in the sentence?



Katiapulko
Ukraine

What ´s wrong in the sentence?
 
Hello, dear colleagues! I need your help. What ´s wrong in this sentence: 
That egg was of the biggest bird of East.
How can it be transformed? Is it possible to say That egg belonged to the biggest bird of East?
Please help, it ´s urgent!

12 Dec 2011      



yanogator
United States

In my opinion, the best two options are:
 
That was the egg of the biggest bird of the East.
 
or
 
That egg was from the biggest bird of the East.
 
Bruce

12 Dec 2011     



Katiapulko
Ukraine

Thank you Bruce! One more request)) Here is the text. Could you please look through it and check if there are any mistakes. Thanks in advance!!!!

Sindbad was a young handsome boy. He lived in the city of Baghdad. He was very poor. He always dreamed to have much money.

 At last Sindbad decided to go on voyage. It was very interesting for some days.

But then storm suddenly arose and broke Sindbad’s ship. Sindbad found a wood

stick and could take it. The currents carried him alone. The waves tossed Sindbad. He felt very bad. At last he got a wonderful island.

Standing on the unknown Island, Sindbad looked around. He did not know what to do and where to go. He climbed up a palm-tree and saw a big egg.

       Oh, I want to eat this egg! – Sindbad cried.

That was the egg of the biggest bird of the East. Its name was Roc. When Sindbad thought to take the egg, Roc swooped down and he felt that Roc carried him through the air. The bird carried Sindbad over a distance and let him go down.

Suddenly Sindbad fell down near a big box of precious stones. Some days later he saw a big ship. He began to cry and called for help. The ship came to the bank and brought Sindbad with it.

Soon he was at home in Baghdad. He decided to help poor people. 

12 Dec 2011     



Amanda W
Austria

Sindbad was a young handsome boy. He lived in the city of Baghdad. He was very poor. He always dreamed of having much money.

 At last Sindbad decided to go on a voyage. It was very interesting for several days.

But then a storm suddenly arose and wrecked Sindbad’s ship. Sindbad found a piece of wood OR a wooden plank and  took hold of it/ grasped it. The currents carried him along. The waves tossed him about. He felt very bad/ sick. Finally he reached a wonderful island.

Standing on the unknown island, Sindbad looked around. He did not know what to do or where to go. He climbed up a palm-tree and saw a big egg.

–       Oh, I want to eat this egg! – Sindbad cried.

That was the egg of the biggest bird of the East. Its name was Roc. While Sindbad was thinking of taking the egg, Roc swooped down and soon he realised that Roc was carrying him through the air. The bird carried Sindbad a great distance and then dropped him.

 Sindbad fell down near a large box of precious stones. Some days later he saw a big ship. He began to cry and called for help. The ship came to the bank and rescued Sindbad (him).

Soon he was home again in Baghdad. He decided to help poor people.

 

12 Dec 2011     



Katiapulko
Ukraine

Thank you so much, Amanda! I really appreciate it!

12 Dec 2011     



yanogator
United States

One small change I would make (after Amanda ´s excellent corrections) is the part about Roc. It is not a personal name for the bird, but rather what it is, so we would say "the Roc".
 
Its was called the Roc. While Sinbad was thinking about taking the egg, the Roc swooped down and he felt it carrying him through the air. (or you can use Amanda ´s "he realized it was carrying him through the air").
 
Bruce

13 Dec 2011     



redcamarocruiser
United States

I loved the story and Amanda ´s corrections. I would change  He always dreamed of having MUCH money to "always dreamed of having a lot of money" or "lots of money."

In the affirmative, we do not use much as a modifier of uncountable nouns, although in the negative it is used.

EXAMPLES
I have a lot of money, but John doesn ´t have much money.

There was a lot of water after the rain, but there wasn ´t much water after the sun dried it up.

13 Dec 2011