Dear Anita,

You will have heard of Charles K. Ogden, who, in 1930, proposed a list of 850 Basic English Words, with which a Speaker/Writer could communicate in English fluently, on any subject.

http://ogden.basic-english.org/

http://www.Manythings.org/vocabulary/lists/l/words.php?f=ogden

You could use this list to prepare a short script for a play.

However, what is not generally known is that, exactly 100 years previously, (in 1857 to be precise), another EnglishMan, Alfred Arthur Bett, invented a form of the English Language consisting of only the 26 alphabet letters, plus numbers.  To demonstrate how easy it was to learn this language, he wrote a short stage play, utilising only this abbreviated script, �The Alf A Bett Language�.

My Grandmother obtained the last remaining copy and she has lent me it.  Here it is.

SCENE: A European restaurant.  A moustached Man, a Customer, of unknown nationality, enters the restaurant and is greeted by a Waitress.

Everyone speaks VERY slowly and VERY deliberately in �The Alf A Bett Language�.

As each person speaks, a Stagehand displays a card with the appropriate script, showing only the alphabet letters, "L.O", for example, (or, the letters are projected onto an Interactive Whiteboard screen). 

Man L.O.                                                        Hello.

Waitress L.O.                                                Hello.

Man R.U.B.C?                                                Are you busy?

Waitress S,V.R.B.C.                                     Yes, we are busy.

Man F.U.N.E.T?                                            Have you any tea?

Waitress S,  V.F.T.                         `             Yes, we have tea.

Man N.X?                                                       And eggs?

Waitress S.V.F.X.  V.F.2 N�s!                     Yes, we have eggs.  We have 2 hens!

Man O. I. C.  F.U M.N.X?                            Oh!  I see. Have you ham and eggs?

Waitress 9.  V.F.N.10.E.M.                        Nein. We haven�t any ham.

Man (thoughtfully) R.                                Ah!

Waitress V.F.P�s!                                         We have peas!

Man O.K.  X. N. P�s N. T. 4. 1.                   OK.  Eggs and peas and tea for one.

Waitress O.O.   V.F.N.10. E. P�s.              Oh, Oh!  We haven�t any peas.

Man. Y? U.Z.U.F. P�s.                                  Why?  You said you have peas.

A Waiter enters.

Waiter V.F.N 10.E.P�s.                                We haven�t any peas!

Man Y?                                                            Why?

Waiter I.F.E.10.M.                                       I have eaten them.

Man U.8.M.                                                   You ate them!

Waiter S. B.4.                                                Yes! Before!                                   

Man O! U.                                                      Oh! You! (Exits, furious!)

Waitress O.G.                                               Oh! Gee!

Waiter O.L!                                                    Oh! Hell!

With grateful thanks to �The Two Ronnies�, whose script I plagiarised and altered.

Les