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ESL forum > Ask for help > I need help    

I need help



savvinka
Russian Federation

I need help
 
Dear friends,
Does anybody have a minute to look through my text???
Are there mistakes?
Thanks inbeforehand.
olga

 I am really excited today. I enjoy every minute 
of my life here.   No wonder! Now I�m a student of the
 Russian University of Theatre Arts.4) It sounds great! 
  Let me introduce myself.  My first name is Max,
 my surname is Belov. I come from Belgorod. My family 
lives there. My grandparents are theatre people to the 
bone. They love theatre. They work at the theatre: my 
Grandfather is 6) a stage director, my Grandmother 
 is  a retired actress, my Dad is  a set designer,  
my Mom is a dancer. I�m nineteen year old. I�m not
 married, but I have got a girlfriend. Her name is Kate.  
She is clever and beautiful. She is an art student too.
I live in the  dormitory. I share a room with two
other boys. They are brothers. Alex is twenty year 
old, he is a dancer.  Mark  is seventeen and he is 
 a gifted singer. He sings country songs very well. 
I �m a person of many talents. I�m very good at
 playing the guitar and hip-hop dancing. My teacher
says that  I sing very well. I can also play the violin.  
 I�m very interested in art. I like going to the theatre.
 I want to  be a good  drama actor. My  dream is
 to play in one of the Moscow theatres. 
The job of an actor is  hard, but it�s interesting.
My favourite actor is Yevgeniy Mironov.  He is very
 talented and plays on the stage of the Moscow Art
 Theatre.  He is an art director of the State Theatre 
of Nations.  Also he is  a true  movie star. I�m very 
 impressed with his  characters  on  the screen. 
 The students must work hard to be  professional actors.
 The theatres want  hardworking and creative actors.                                                                                                         
                                                                                                                                                       

15 Jun 2012      





ueslteacher
Ukraine

I �m 19 years old... (though you could also write "I �m  19.")
Alex is 20 years old/ Alex is twenty.

Other suggestions:
I want to be a successful drama actor (not to repeat good all the time)
He is very talented and performs in Moscow Art Theatre.

Sophia

15 Jun 2012     



Zora
Canada

 I am really excited today. I enjoy every minute              - I am enjoying
of my life here.   No wonder! Now I�m a student of the     - I-d take out "now"
 Russian University of Theatre Arts.4) It sounds great!     - It is great -not sounds 
  Let me introduce myself.  My first name is Max,            - ok
 my surname is Belov. I come from Belgorod. My family     - ok
lives there. My grandparents are theatre people to the    - ok
bone. They love theatre. They work at the theatre: my   - They love it./work in theatre
Grandfather is 6) a stage director, my Grandmother         - do not capitalise "grand"
 is  a retired actress, my Dad is  a set designer,              - dad not Dad
my Mom is a dancer. I�m nineteen year old. I�m not          - mom not Mom, years
 married, but I have got a girlfriend. Her name is Kate.     - ok
She is clever and beautiful. She is an art student too.     - ok
I live in the  dormitory. I share a room with two              - ok
other boys. They are brothers. Alex is twenty year          - years
old, he is a dancer.  Mark  is seventeen and he is            - ok
 a gifted singer. He sings country songs very well.           - ok
I �m a person of many talents. I�m very good at               - ok
 playing the guitar and hip-hop dancing. My teacher        - ok
says that  I sing very well. I can also play the violin.       - ok
 I�m very interested in art. I like going to the theatre.      - ok
 I want to  be a good  drama actor. My  dream is            - ok
 to play in one of the Moscow theatres.                       - act not play or "be in a play"
The job of an actor is  hard, but it�s interesting.             - ok
My favourite actor is Yevgeniy Mironov.  He is very         - ok
 talented and plays on the stage of the Moscow Art        - acts on stage/is part of
 Theatre.  He is an art director of the State Theatre       - at not of
of Nations.  Also he is  a true  movie star. I�m very         - He is also
 impressed with his  characters  on  the screen.             - ok
 The students must work hard to be professional actors. - Students, not "the students"
 The theatres want  hardworking and creative actors.     - Theatres, not "the theatres"


Like Sophia says, do not over use good. Think of other words to describe things.

15 Jun 2012     



savvinka
Russian Federation

Dear Zora and Sofia,
Thank you veeeery much for yr kind help,
I �m writing a textbook for my elementary sts and writing some easy texts myself,
so you can see I have some problms.

15 Jun 2012