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ESL forum > Ask for help > Proofreading    

Proofreading



jarek2011
Poland

Proofreading
 

Would anyone be so kind as to proofread the following text? I was not quite sure whether the phrase "overnight trip" was correct but what I meant was a field trip during which the students and teachers slept outdoors in the tents

 

 

The new school year started with an overnight trip. New teachers and students had a golden opportunity to get to know each other better. The weather didn�t spoil our plans and turned up to be  much better than we had previously expected. As a result,  we did not freeze so much. After we had covered a short distance  from the road to the camp school, we wolfed the lunch down. After the lunch everyone took to water sports and had a go at canoeing, steering a boat or kayaking. All students got a unique opportunity to practise their skills to their heart�s content. But the major challenge that faced us was to get hot water in the hot tub. As it turned out, pumping the water into the tub and having it heated in an oven was no a walk in the park. The students were very anxious to have the water pumped into the hot tub and in the end they managed to do so.  Finally, the hot tub was bubbling and splattering hot water and some courageous students had taken a dip in the lake before they plunged in the tub. Such was the joy that almost the whole school wound up in the tub in the end. In the evening, some parents paid us a visit as we were barbecueing and  enjoying ourselves around the bonfire. The night in the Sami tent was an experience in itself. Early in the morning we had breakfast, paddled a little more in the canoe, packed up and went home. What a great overnight trip we had !

 

14 Sep 2012      





cunliffe
United Kingdom

I would prefer, �The weather turned out much better than we were expecting. � �we wolfed down the lunch � . After lunch, (no the ) � �getting hot water into the bath tub. � �.. �was no walk in the park � .. �and they managed it in the end �. �Some courageous students took a dip in the lake before plunging into the tub �.  .. � almost the whole school ended up in the tub. �

Just some suggestions! it sounds like a great trip!
Lynne

14 Sep 2012     



jarek2011
Poland

thank you very much for your time/ effort and last but not the least help!

14 Sep 2012     



ldthemagicman
United Kingdom

Dear Lynne,
 
Thank you very much for your time, your effort, and last but not least, your help!
 
Dear Jarek 2011,
 
You may not realise it, but the words: "Not the least help!" (without a comma) is a form of insult.  It means: "It was not the least bit of help!"
 
I am sure that you did not intend to imply this.
 
Best wishes,
 
Les  
 

14 Sep 2012     



starrr
Brazil

where can we put the comma on THE LEAST??

14 Sep 2012     



cunliffe
United Kingdom

@Les LOL. Oh yes! You �re right - I didn �t twig.

Also, looking at it again, were the students very anxious about having the water pumped into the tub - or were they very keen to have the water....?

15 Sep 2012     



jarek2011
Poland

Les, thank you  for pointing my mistake out. I didn �t mean any insult. That is the case with us, non-native speakers of English, we make mistakes of different kinds without meaning to. I had to make peace with that fact long ago :) Thank you very much for your help Cunliffe and Les again!

15 Sep 2012     



almaz
United Kingdom

There could also be a slight interpretation problem with �barbecuing � yourselves �around the bonfire �.  :)

15 Sep 2012