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ESL forum >
Message board > For Harim
For Harim
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alien boy
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For Harim
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A quick critique of page 1 has been sent to your email account.
Page 2�s critique will follow tomorrow.
You may want to retract your demand for an apology from me... 
Cheers,
ab
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15 Jan 2009
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HARIM
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Sorry to tell you alien boy that this paper you are correcting is the work by a very distinguished writer.
Forgetting to credit this work,should never be a reason to correct it.
Please,stop correcting people if you don�t know their resourses and their qualifications.
I�m still waiting for you apology before I reveal the name of the mastermind behind the paper you corrected. |
15 Jan 2009
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alien boy
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I�m not actually concerned about the mastermind behind the story. It was just a comment re author/source acknowledgement.
As far as qualifications etc go, a piece of paper does not guarantee virtue, integrity or quality.
The English you used in the worksheet needs to be improved - I stand by my earlier statement.
In my critique of page 2 (the questions regarding the story) I will look at inconsistencies between the story & the questions posed. The majority of these inconsistencies may well relate to stylistic issues where ambiguity has been created by the author�s style and the way your questions have been structured.
Personally, I am quite astounded that you do not welcome constructive criticism & will not present a rebuttal of any of my comments regarding the language used in the worksheet!
I am more than happy to throw this discussion open to all & sundry. If you like I will post my critiques here instead of emailing them to you? Would that be more appealing to you?
In anticipation,
ab
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15 Jan 2009
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alien boy
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By the way, I am aware it is an extract of an essay by Mark Twain. However, it is most unfortunate that you have not copied it correctly with regard to punctuation. Also, I would hardly call Twain�s story writing standard English, even in his own day! I gave you the opportunity to present a well reasoned statement in response to my initial critique.
Remember too, that this worksheet is intended for students of English as a second language. My comments about idiom & understanding still apply.
Regards,
ab
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15 Jan 2009
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HARIM
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Could we possibly stop using this window for our personal messages?
This board is everybody�s property.There is a better way to send private messages.We needn�t wait for other people to tell us : what we are doing is wrong |
15 Jan 2009
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alien boy
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I don� mind either way Harim. This post will be off the front page shortly & we can continue to discuss on the site without disturbing others. This will allow those who are interested to add their comments too.
Regards,
Bryce
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15 Jan 2009
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Zora
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I just took a quick look at the worksheet in question and I have to agree with alien boy, I would also like to point out that you should be a wee bit more careful with the verb tenses used in your story. You are mixing tenses as well as over using commas and semi-colons thus giving the worksheet a "choppy" and confusing feeling...
L.
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15 Jan 2009
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dennismychina
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Apart from the grammatical side, how sad that SS should have to endure such a terribly depressing lesson. |
15 Jan 2009
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alien boy
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Truly Harim, this is part of a larger piece which has been reviewed by FIVE PROFESSORS!!
I�m stunned. Are they professors of the English language? If they are they must not have reviewed your piece fully. If you were to submit this in the UK, Australia or America you should have received feedback about both your literary style & the appropriateness of using the Twain extract for students of English. The extract would be useful as part of a literature analysis course as it helps define the character of the narrator. He is filled with sorrow at the loss of his loved ones & is wallowing in his own emotional state. This is amply conveyed in Twain�s style. The confusion created in that opening sentence (let alone the questions you provide) would be enough to ensure its inappropriateness for the majority of ESL/EFL students.
I will email you later today (Japan time)
Regards,
k-i-a
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16 Jan 2009
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