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ESL forum > Ask for help > My pupil ´s paragraph    

My pupil ´s paragraph



noura80
Algeria

My pupil ´s paragraph
 

                     

 Hello there! I hope you are doing well . This is the production of a student I know.I corrected some mistakes. I want your opinion in case there are other mistakes. Thans in advance
 
                                                                My Lovely Sister

    I have a large family,but my sister is the closest person to me. Her name is Samia  and she is a teacher of French language at Dardar primary school .She likes her job a lot and enjoys working with little kids.

     She is a medium height woman with long black curly hair and dark brown eyes. When you meet her, the first thing  you notice, is her warm and friendly smile and also her kindness.

    She is a hardworking and serious person ;she does any thing to help her pupils this is why they love her a lot. She’ s also cheerful. She’ s the kind of persons you can always rely on when you have any problem.

        My sister likes reading novels especially those of Agatha Christie . She’s crazy about watching science documentaries, too.She sometimes watches her favourite movies on Youtube. On holidays,she loves making dresses,and she is really an artist ,because she can make beautiful designs. 

   Samia is extremely generous ,but not very tolerant of people who don’t agree with her. I hope to be as successful as she is in her work,because I really adore teaching .

16 Oct 2018      





cunliffe
United Kingdom

What a lovely description! It would be better to say, ´She is of medium height, with long black..... �. By the way, ´anything � is one word. Also, ´you can always rely on when you have a problem/any problems. � 

16 Oct 2018     



Aisha77
Spain

I ´d say "She ´s the kind of person...". Persons I believe is not correct, but if you ´d say many people it ´d be like this: "They are that kind of people...". 
Such a nice description!! 
Have a great day all of you! 

17 Oct 2018     



yanogator
United States

I would suggest a few more changes:
 
...with long, black, curly hair...
 
...the first thing you notice is her warm...  (no comma)
 
She is a hard-working and serious person. She does anything to help her pupils; this is why they love her a lot.
 
...likes reading novels, especially those...
 
 
 
Bruce 

17 Oct 2018     



Aisha77
Spain

Thanks Bruce and very well checked! You nailed it!

18 Oct 2018     



noura80
Algeria

Thanks a bunch friends.Have a nice day.

19 Oct 2018