Winklepicker

I missed yesterday�s deadline for �Word of the Day�, (midnight, Spanish time), because someone in Khazakstan got me out of bed to ask for an order of Chicken Chow Mein with Fried Rice and Onions.  (My home phone is 1 digit away from that of the local �We Deliver Anywhere, Any Day, Any Time, Takeaway�.)

She apologised for disturbing my sleep, but I assured her that it was unimportant.  After all, it was necessary for me to get up, because the telephone was ringing.

Incidentally, I don�t wish to be offensive to other nationalities, but why does it have to be �midnight, Spanish time�?  After all, it was we, the English, who invented time.

Possibly, you have heard of the phrase, �Greenwich Mean Time�?  Yes?  Greenwich, London, England, is the centre of the horological world, and in Greenwich, when they say: �Time�, they mean �TIME!�

To pass on to the definition of �Winklepicker�, I am surprised that so many Abcedarians, Paronomasians, Phoneticians and other nationalities can be so ignorant of words in the English language.

My own fellow-patriot, Dawn Main, has given a spirited, but sadly, inaccurate definition of the word.  This is because her forte is music!  She once had the honour of meeting the world-famous Italian composer Giuseppe Verdi � but that was when he played drums as plain, old, Joe Green!

Dawn and I both come from the north-east of England, an area rich in linguistic heritage.

The local dialect, Geordie, is replete with Nordic words and expressions.  �Ah�m gaan hyem!� (�I�m going home�) can be understood by any inhabitant of Scandiwegia � Holland, Norway, Sweden, etc.

The area has numerous towns with French names � Hetton-le-hole; Houghton-le-Spring; Chester-le-Street; etc.

(The principal city, Newcast-le, does not fit in to this category!)  Originally, in the Middle Ages, there was a wooden Castle.  The castle was burned down � some say, due to a faulty thermostat!  After obtaining Planning Permission, the castle was rebuilt in stone.  There was a one-month public debate, funded by the European Union, and the city was renamed New Castle, which received a prize for �Original Thinking�.

In order to curry favour with the incoming king, (the French �William the Conqueror�, a Norman, from Normandy), several citizens changed their name to �Norman King�.  It was also suggested that Newcastle be renamed �Nouveau Ch�teau�, (�New Castle� in French - pronounced �Noov-oh!  Shat-oh!�)  However, once the words had been clearly enunciated, one-by-one,  the name was rejected, for obvious reasons!

Now, in modern times, �Geordie-land� continues to welcome visitors from other shores.  A local suburb, Pelaw, houses a large contingent from Poland, because there is a huge chimney on the sky-line, welcoming Polish people: �Pelaw � Polish!�

The locals are too embarrassed to reveal that it is actually an advertisement for boot-polish manufactured in Pelaw.

Incidentally, why can you buy pelaw rice in Newcastle, but you can�t buy newcastle rice in pelaw?

To return to the definition of Win-klep-ick-er.  It�s too easy for words!

Win = (Anglo-Saxon): succeed; klep = (Greek): kleptomania, a desire to steal; ick = (Old German for �ich�): �I�; er = (Urdu): hesitation.

�Winklepicker� = �I am a successful thief!  (At least I think I am!)�

Les Douglas