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Ask for help > Make me fel better!!!
Make me fel better!!!
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sirhaj
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Make me fel better!!!
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Dear fellow teachers,
I just started teaching in a new school and I have been there only for three days, I havent received my timetable yet but I am so afraid, I am traumatized by my past brief experience of teaching high school kids, they were so ruthless, they just walked around the class when I was there, they insulted me, they chatted a lot while I was teaching and they hardly did any task that I gave to them. They even turned their chairs and talked to their friends like I was not there. I was so traumatized by the experience that I am so afraid will repeat in the same school I am teaching now, I really want to quit being a teacher especially when now I am taking my Master with hope I can apply for other works when I am done, I can �t take it anymore, I am so depressed and I have been suffering anxiety disorder that affects my way of dealing with the students. I am not a strict person and I don �t yell at people, it �s very hard for me to develop traits I never have.
I am extremely scared!!! I know I am such a loser and coward, but this feeling inside me is killing me every second, please help me, I always feel guilty that I chose to be a teacher but my course was bound to a contract I cannot breach unless if I pay RM 200, 000 something. I have no choice but to become a teacher despite my total disinclination in taking this career. 
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25 Feb 2012
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madamev
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Hi Sirhaj! Well I completely understand how you �re feeling, this job can be so tough and disappointing in many ways sometimes. How long have you been teaching? Is there any way you might teach younger pupils or are you forced to work in high schools?
I �ve spent 5 years as a teacher in a violent area and unfortunately, the only to make those students respect you is to show them you �re not scared, and indeed I yell a lot... My main strengths are my voice (which can be very loud and impressive) and my eyes when I �m angry. I am sure you have the assets required, you just need to work on them. You can �t be another person but teaching is sometimes �pretending �, making as if... It �s a role you have to play in order to be respected. Have you talked about it to the directors in your school? or to some colleagues? Maybe they can help you by giving you advice on, for instance, how to punish them. Try to speak to some parents, too. They might be helpful.
Don �t lose your faith and if it really makes you feel miserable and anxious, I �d advise you to STOP believing you are a coward first, you need to regain self-confidence and self-respect. Talking is the best way to forget about your fears, confronting them sure is difficult, but you mustn �t keep all these negative thoughts for yourself. Speak to anyone: friends, colleagues, a doctor... don �t be afraid to share your impressions. This job is a tough one, but can really be a wonderful one so don �t give up and try to be optimistic: some students are really worth it.
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25 Feb 2012
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ueslteacher
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Don �t loose heart:) A lot of us feel that way with teens at some point of our career. I too have two groups of 8th -graders who are very noisy and most of the times I feel frustrated after a class with them, but I just keep hoping it will improve and I �ll find a way to deal with their behaviour. A couple of days ago a member here posted a similar message about dealing with older students and I love the piece of advice which Les had given. Have a look, maybe you �ll find it useful
http://www.eslprintables.com/forum/topic.asp?id=32819 Sophia |
25 Feb 2012
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cunliffe
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Dear Sirhaj
Give these kids a chance - they may not be as bad as you think. I am worried you say you are a loser and a coward. Stop thinking that straight away and repeat as a mantra that you are a winner and that you are as brave as a lion. Teaching is not easy, motivating youngsters who would rather be elsewhere can be really draining. Set yourself short term targets, vow to stay cheerful, smile even if you could cry. Don �t let the kids get you down, always prepare their lessons to the best of your ability and they will come to respect you.
However, teaching isn �t for everybody, why not start thinking of alternatives - there must be something else you can do, if your situation gets worse?
Don �t start yelling by the way, it only works in the short term, anyway. Just set your limits and stick to them. Is there a friendly face in the school you could confide in? Are there other teachers who look like they could be friends? Support from colleagues counts for a lot and will get you through.
In the meantime, and I don �t mean to be flippant, but Sirhaj, get yourself a little treat - some chocolate maybe? Nice new clothes? Don �t wallow in feelings of depression. SHAKE THEM OFF! Let us know how you get on once you �ve got your timetable.
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25 Feb 2012
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maryse pey�
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Never never never think you are a loser or a coward ! NEVER !!! This is one of the rare things I forbid my students ! You have YOUR qualities and you are someone valuable ! If students are rude with you try to identify the leader of the classroom. Then ask him how (s)he will explain if (s)he were at your place. Give him / her the topic of the lesson of the day and tell him / her that (s)he will have to teach his / her classmates the topic for 20 minutes. If (s)he manages to make the other students understand the lesson they will surely do correctly the exercises you will have prepared. If everything is ok there will be good marks. If the leader did not manage to succeed the challenge ask another student to prepare the same lesson. Then give other exercises on the same topic. You will of course explain in your own way, after their explanation, to complete what has been told yet. or there is another behavior which often surprises and makes the students look at you in another way : when they start making noise or insult you CALMLY put books and chalk and take a book or your pen and start IGNORING them. Do not talk or look at them. Behave as if they were not there. Prepare exercises, a new topic, correct tests... I know it is extremely difficult but there is nothing worse than being ignored ! And when they will be tired of trying to focuse your attention they will stop. Then, still CALMLY, tell them : "I am glad to see that you want to learn how to become someone faithful and trustful. Let �s start the topic... and I will be glad to give you the marks your work deserves." I know I am not always "classic" in my reasoning but I had very very difficult students and it is amazing to see how they finally decide to trust you. Never give up and NEVER NEVER UNDERVALUATE YOU and your potential ! NEVER ! Maryse. |
25 Feb 2012
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naoura
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hi sirhaj
it �s not easy to present a lesson and make all students be with you i advise to be severe with them at the beginning after that you can make your lessons less tense and even be friendly with them . all teachers face similar problems at the beginning of their careers so take it easy .you can use all ways of punishment if they don �t obey have a good luck and don �t be frustrated |
25 Feb 2012
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dawnmain
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Very important to share your feelings with experienced colleagues and inform the parents about their child �s bad behaviour. most parents will be horrified to discover they treat their teacher badly and will take immediate action in my experience.
good luck!
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25 Feb 2012
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savvinka
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I �ve just come through your wss anf found out that you are a Talented and Creative Teacher,
Use your wss in class! I can �t believe the sts won �t be interesed. Just trust in yourself and they will trust you.
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25 Feb 2012
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Pelletrine
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Dear Sirhaj,
please NEVER EVER disbelieve your own capacities : you �ll just have to make them function. Sometimes, you �ll have to imagine yourself going on stage. But, remember: every actor has to draw out his character from his own inside (sure, maybe highly inspired by what he has sought through other actors or personalities). YOU are the captain of the crew... if the crew doesn �t know what you want them to do : they will do nothing ... AND a mutinery!!!
The very best lesson is nothing if you don �t give precise orders on what they shall do with it, how and even when. They must know what to expect from you: so if you don �t let them know: they will try you (like any kid, even with their parents!!!) until you tell them ... or crack down.
We have ALL had to learn this, either as parents, elder sisters/brothers ... or teachers: children MUST know what exactly you expect from them... and what will happen if they don �t do as you ask them to ;o))
AND: please keep in touch, and let us know how you �re doing ;o))
- looking through the answers you �ve already got, I see some pretty good pieces of advice: USE them ... and get yourself a treat : you need and deserve it
BIG HUGS |
25 Feb 2012
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Nina Pizzo
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I �ve been teaching for nearly 12 years and I �ve met all kinds of students.
My first year as a teacher was terrible! Most of my students were really nasty little brats and gave me a hard time. I was still very naive as a teacher and let my feelings of nervousness and stress show. And they had a blast with this very young and unexperienced teacher. I felt I was the worst teacher in the world and thought of giving up. When I look back, it just makes me smile  . I �m glad I didn �t give up!
This is my advice to you, if it �s any value:
- First class, or as soon as possible, establish the rules for your class. You can allow them some participation in the setting of the rules (it makes them feel you respect them), but don �t indulge in anything you feel is not a good rule - you are the boss!
- Some schools already have a set of rules that all teachers should make students follow. If this isn �t the case with your school, you make the rules as suggested in the previous paragraph.
- Get informed, as soon as possible, about your school �s procedures as to students who break the rules - some schools are stricter than others, and you mustn �t do anything as punishment that may get you into trouble. The important thing is, students must realize that there will be consequences if they don �t respect the rules.
- This may be exhausting for some time, but you mustn �t give up. It �s natural that the students will test you and see how far they can go (they do this with every teacher and they soon will know which teacher will allow exactly what).
- If you �re not the yelling type, fine! You don �t have to yell. It �s more effective sometimes to just get quite near the student, eye to eye, and softly but firmly explain him/them he/they are misbehaving and they have to stop, or else... And if they don �t stop, consequence must follow. Never threat unless you are willing to apply what you promised.
- Become an actor/actress! Hide your feelings of frustration, nervousness and murder intents! Remain calm and smile! Focus on the nice students and reward them with a compliment on how great they are - and make this audible and noticeable for the nasty brats, because they will want this too. And when they do something good, reward them in the same way. Whatever they do, don �t insult them or make them feel stupid, because they will turn this agains you.
- Engage with your students, make them feel you care about them. Discipline rules and punishment should focus on behaviour, not the person. They should feel, and you can tell them, "I like you, but I can �t have that behaviour. (Explain why) I can �t work in these conditions and your behaviour/noise/whatever is interfering with the other students � right to learn, so..."
- Find out what they like and, every now and then, prepare a lesson about something they identify with.
- Ask them how they are prior to the beginning of each lesson (this is engaging).
- Find out a bit about their family situation. Sometimes students are just crying out for attention, but the wrong way. Sometimes it helps to know if they are going through some rough time. If this is the case, they may want to talk to an adult and let it out (but don �t force this if they don �t want your help).
- Whatever you do, don �t indulge on the rules.
And keep it positive! It may be that your new students are mostly nice people! They will always be very different from each other, and, as everywhere else, there �s good and bad!
By the end of your school day, remember the good things that you did and feel proud; reflect upon the bad things that happened: if they were not your responsibility, don �t carry the blame; if they were, think about what you can do to change the situation.
If you do your best, don �t carry the weight of the world on your shoulders!
I hope my advice will help you! I wish you all the best!
Telma
PS: I �m teaching 5 classes this year and there �s one that still gets me down a bit. Some of my fellow teachers have been teaching for twice as long as I have (my boss!) and it still happens to them. It comes with the territory... |
25 Feb 2012
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Mariethe House
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Lots of comforting and helpful advice here which is not surprising as the members of this community are all generous and awesome!
I looked at busyteacher.org and typed classroom management and there are loads of imaginative and creative ways of making our job easier and make you feel more relaxed and confident. Here is an example :
http://busyteacher.org/3040-back-to-school-how-to-establish-classroom-rules.html
Good luck! I am sure you will make it!! And don �t forget to write your stories and novel!!
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25 Feb 2012
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